muddled thoughts!!!!: February 2005

Monday, February 28, 2005

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM!!!

two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.

the family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.

instead, the andgels were given a small space in the cold basement. as they made

their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

when the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,

"things aren't always what they seem"

the next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable

farmer and his wife. after sharing what little food they had, the couple let the angels

sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. when the sun came up

the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. their only cow,

whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. the younger angel was

infuriated and he asked the older angel "how could you have possibly let this

happen?"

"the first man had everything, yet you helped him," she

accused. "the second family had little but was willing

to share everything, and you let the cow die."

"things aren't always what they seem"

the older angel replied.

"when we stayed in the basement of the mansion, i noticed there was gold stored in

that hole in the wall. since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to

share his good fortune, i sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. then last night as we

slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for his wife. i gave him the cow

instead.

things aren't always what they seem.

sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. if you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. you might not know it until some time later....so if ever something happened, happens and is happening to you always look at the brighter side of life....there's no harm trying yah know!!!

ANOTHER SUNSET!!!!

view6
Originally uploaded by alboi palaboi.
what the !@#$%^& @#$%....so beatiful n0h!!! grabeeeeeee.... hayyy sunset...sana lagi na lang sunset....tingnan nyo!!! sino ba naman di maa-attract sa ganda nito....galing talaga ng Diyos!!!

Friday, February 25, 2005

puerto galera sunset

puerto galera
Originally uploaded by alboi palaboi.

grabe talaga ang sunset....napakapeaceful!!! if i die, i would like to die on the shore by sunset...that't the ideal death for me!!! you know the feeling na tinatawag ka ng langit to be with them and be in peace....sounds scary pero totoo...baka malapit na kong mamatay kaya ganun... :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

HALF LIFE!!!

a story of true love....sad but yet moving and inspiring....so for those who don't know what true love means, you better read this!!!

i saw him writing a poem and so i asked, "what you thinking?"

he answered sadly, "you..."

the wind blew softly, its breeze touching my skin solemnly. "the sun is about to set. i can feel its fading warmth." with these words i felt his embrace giving me enough reason to stay with him, to fight for him. "it's been five years Earl."

five glorious years, Liz. five wonderful years with you," he said. tears came to him, i felt it flowing on my shoulders.

"don't cry, Earl, nothing will tear us apart. i won't allow it. believe me, fate indeed made us together." he held me stronger. "remember mom and dad? they told me you were not worthy for me, that you'll just break my heart...but you proved them wrong. you made them realize that you are the perfect one for their daughter...their dying daughter."

Earl suddenly locked his body to mine, he held me tighter, as if i were about to fall apart. "i love you, Liz. i won't survive without you. i can't!" he uttered. "please Liza, please stay with me...stay with me...stay with me." his words lingered in my failing senses.

i know it's about time but please God, give me more time to stay with Earl. just this night...just this night...but He didn't hear my plea. pain started to feed my weak heart. everything went black.

am i in heaven Lord? where are the angels? why can't i see one why is it too bright in here? where am i? questions started to come out of me as i asked, crying. why did you allow me to die? what will happen to Earl? to my family? why God? why? don't you understand? i can't die! Earl can't live without me! don't be selfish! please! i beg you! send me back! send me back!!! i sobbed thinking my tears will tears will speak for me.

"my child..." a voice so loud yet not deafening roared in the lighted place. "why are you so hopeless? can't you see? you're with me now. i will take you to my paradise."

"but God," i pleaded. "i can't. Earl, i love him so much. he means everything to me. i don't want to leave him."

"very well, my child," the voice replied. "for i am an understanding God. i'll let you go back in his arms but not in flesh...in spirit. for 5 days you shall be air...this is all i can do for you..."

it was so bright, so blinding. then suddenly, i was in the hospital, in the hallway. i kept running, not knowing which way to go then i saw my father rushing to the elevator. i followed him. i've never seen father so pained; i always regarded him as the strongest man in the world, that nothing can tear him apart for our family draws strength from him. now, i see nothing but a broken man. the elevator stopped. he walked slowly, i walked with him until we reached room 314.

father didn't knock; he held the knob tightly, wishing it wasn't the right room. i could hear mon crying hard. i guess this is it...i said to myself sadly. fathere opened the door and mom rushed to him crying and they held each other tight. in the middle of the room i saw the bed with dextrose, an oxygen tank, and a monitor. is this my life line? if only i can manipulate it. it's going up and down but it's so slow and so frail. then lying on the bed was my body.

i was bombarded with tubes, plasters and an oxygen mask in my face like the ones with tubes , plasters and an oxygen mask in my face like the ones i saw in movies. "hey you!" i blurted out, as i touched the unconscious mass. "why don't you wake up, huh?!" but my hand just passed right through it, and my body was still unresponsive.

the doctor came. "please doctor," i could hear my mon pleading. "do everuthing you can. she's our only daughter."

"yes ma'am, we will," the doctor assured her.

"doc," my father called, "we are capable financially, do whatever it takes to revive Liza."

as i looked at myself lying lifelessly in bed... i remembered the reason why i came back... Earl. where is Earl? why is he not here? what happened to him? fear ran in my veins. i searched every room in the hospital -- but there was no sign of him. though this spirit couldn't feel human limitations, i felt tires... emotionally. desperate, i went back to my room and listened to my parents' talk expecting they might know where he was. but nothing, not even a single mention of his name. maybe they still felt bitter about him.

days passed. my third day on earth. still, my body showed no sign of recovery and was still supported mechanically. Earl was nowhere to be found. maybe God forgot to tell me that i couldn't go out -- i tried to leave the hospital but when i opened the exit door, i found myself back in my room again.

i waited the whole day. i waited the whole night. has Earl abandoned me? i kept asking myslf. n, he won't, he loves me...

fourth day. days seemed so meaningless to me, without seeing the one i love. God, take me back.

resting beside my mother, i overheard father being called by my doctor. "doctor, how is my daughter?" my father asked.

"she's still in coma and her vital signs show no progress," replied the doctor. "mr. de guzman, i believe we should take the risk. that heart will do her no good, it's deteriorating, making her chances blur... i suggest she undergo a heart transplant."

"but doctor, what are the chances of..."

"50/50 sir," the doctor said. "her unconsciousness until now makes it difficult to tell but we will try our best. please come with me so we'll have the papers ready."

i went back to my room, devastated. i saw mom talking to me. she was holding my hand, weeping. "Liz, your father and i love you so much. please don't leave us, you can do it, fight for us. fight for us, Liz! please..."

i hugged mom. this was the first time she talked to me this way, she was always into business and had never talked to me seriously till now. God, i know you are seeing this. please, let me hold mom, even for the last time... without waiting for His approval, i went back to my body. it was difficult to breathe, it was so heavy inside. sacrificing the energy i acquired artificially, i squeezed mom's hand, tightly, lovingly. mom, i'm listening, take good care of dad, i love you both... mom was crying hard, so was my spirit within.

fifth day. i had a seizure after. at 4:00 pm, my body would be operated on. i was starting to doubt Earl. mom and dad were talking in my room. "he was so kind, i didn't think he could do it for Liza." maybe they're talking about my heart donor, who ever he is. i don't care, i'll leave soon, and they can't prevent it.

11:00 am, i went outside and walked steps away from my room. i was reminiscing my days on earth in flesh and in spirit. i was thinking if those days i was alive were fruitful. was i happy during my stay on earth? have i done something worthwhile?

suddenly, i saw my doctor and all those medical personnel rushing a guy in the operating room. they were all splattered with blood. curious, i followed them. it was... it was him!

i shouted frantically. what happened? i shool the doctor, anyone, pleading for an answer but my hands just passed right through them. my God, what happened to you, Earl? he was splashed with blood all over. he was hallucinating.

"they said it was a car accident, only intentionally," one of the nurses said. as the nurse cut his clothes, they saw a note, "maybe this would explain his side."

april 14, 2003
this is all for love. please give my heart to ms. Liza de guzman of room 314. i hope i made it on time... i love her so much.
Earl perez

i heard the doctor weep silently. "this is the man my patient had been waiting for," he said. "astoundingly, he even protected his chest against the crash."

i love you Earl, i love you so much. you didn't have to do this, you shouldn't have... Earl you are too precious... i kissed him pouring out all the emotion this spirit could give.

"Liza, i love you..." Earl responded faintly.

i watched him lose consciousness, uttering my name up to his last breath. i stayed with him, as i promised.

everything became silent. i could not feel those people rushing to remove his heart. we were then left alone.

now here i am, with the man i loved all my life. there is a faint smile in his lips. i never thought everything will end up this way. Earl, i'm sorry i doubted you. please forgive me. i keep holding his chest, his opened chest. if only i can return your heart. i am more willing to die, than to see you this way.

take me God, take me now... i utter painfully. everything is useless now. please i want to be with him now! i want to see him! and there is a light, pulling me towards it. wait for me, Earl, wait for me.

"Liza, thank God you're awake!"

Thursday, February 17, 2005

CARD WHATEVER!!!

this came from a card from the national bookstore na sobrang nakakagising.....hoy!!! hoy!!! gising...

Nothing lasts forever, not even sadness

Before you know it, you'll be goin' along wondering

Why people have to wonder why

And there'll be a six week old puppy lapping at your hand

Or a giggling kid playing a trick and zipping away lightning fast and collapsing and rolling with giggles

Or there'll be a winning team that was the underdog all season

Or there'll be a song you'd forgotten

Or an October sunset when you hadn't planned on having free time

And you'll forget to remember the sad times,

And it will be like HELLO!!!!!, God is pinching you awake....

YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!

o di ba inspiring...galing n0h!!! everything will be okei....problems are part of life pag wala nun corny na....am i right or am i right???

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

BLESSING!!

as i woke up kaninang 11:30 a.m., thoughts came to my mind....di na ko makatulog uli....di ba lately i'm a little bit down then naisip ko na why do i have to be sad....dami namang blessings to think about and be thankful for, like friends to be specific...to tell you honestly i'm not that happy with my work but i'll take the advice of my friend, she said that "happiness is a choice"....so it's my choice to be happy and i want to be happy....back to blessings....i believe i'm very blessed inspite of having problems that's why i should be happy....i'm blessed with friends especially here in accenture where i've made new friends and they are such wonderful people....and i want to describe each and everyone of them:

ARN-ARN - the super funny as in....pagnakita mo sya matutuwa ka na...daming jokes tsaka hirit na sobrang nakakatawa...sikat nga 'to sa class kasi panalo talaga sya hirit and by the way did i mention na sweet and thoughtful din sya, dinalhan nya nga kami ng breakfast nung night shift kami....

RECCA - ang seatmate ko nung pre-training, funny and sweet....dami ring kalokohang alam....tinawag ako para lang magpasama sa cr...tama ba un?...basta makulit sya lalo na pagkasama nya si arn-arn...

EARL - the joker, he's so funny....and laging gutom....the guy with the disarming smile and God when he laughs the whole class bursts into laughter too...

KEVIN - "totoy bibo"...my close friendship....why??? secret!!! nung una mukhang mayabang pero mabait din and corny!!!

CHRISTIAN - the bitch kindda' guy....sobrang reklamador....lahat ng makitang bagay may reklamong naiisip....pero infairness he's bibo din like kevin and funny also

FE - the captain...kung my totoy bibo sya si neneng biba...grabe henyo....masaya kasama and funny...looks mataray on the outside but mabait on the inside...

JP - the gym buff...ganda ng chest daig pa ibang gurls my boobs....the sweet guy in the class...he even gave us gifts nung Valentine's Day....

CARLA - my laughter buddy....tinatawanan lahat ng bagay kahit corny...masaya kausap, no dull moments...

ANDIE - my seatmate, and my sisterhood in class kasi magkamukha daw kami sabi ni keech...this gurl is super kulit and super funny and you can talk to her about anything and everything under the sun...we've had our moments you know....

RANDY - the ever famous new york boy...makulit sobrang daming side comments pero grabe nakakatuwa sya...daming napapansin...kaya dami ring natatakot sa kanya pero infairness naman to randy, good person sya and fun to be with...

AL - si al puro na lang si al, si al na walang malay...hehehe....anong walang malay eh puro malay nga yan!!! grabe sarap tumawa nito and lakas mangasar sobra...pero okei lang di naman kami pikon....chika buddy ko din sya and my confidant sa office .....he may look a okei on the outside but think again....

RONN - the ever lutang guy...masaya kasama especially pagmaglalakad kasi hilig nya rin yun...my hobby nga kaming dalawa eh - magbulungan.....pasensya na sa iba mejo confidential talaga yun...he is also my confidant...you can tell everything to him....one more thing hilig sobra sa joke kahit corny!!!

they're my friends dito sa office, sobrang saya namin as in...sobrang kung di ko sila nameet, maybe i'm not here anymore...ikaw na magkaron ng friends tulad nila, sasaya ka din....God really loves me because He gave me friends like these people....i really can't explain how blessed i am and anything i say may not be enough to appreciate them all, and i can keep on saying good things about them but it will not be enough believe me....so i'll shout na lang at the top of my lungs...LOVE Y'ALL!!! be happy!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

"With A Smile"

just wanna post one of the encouraging songs for me....it really inspires me especially when i'm in the low points of my life....may it encourage you too.....smile :)

lift your head, baby don't be scared
of the things that could go wrong along the way
you'll get by with a smile
you can't win at everything but you can try

baby you don't have to worry
coz' there ain't no need to hurry
no one ever said that there's an easy way
when they're closing all their doors,
they don't want you anymore
this sounds funny but i'll say it anyway

oh i'll stay through the bad times
even if i had to fetch you everyday
you'll get by if you smile
you can never be too happy in this life

in a world where everybody hates a happy ending story
it's a wonder love can make the world go round
but don't let it bring you down
turn your face into a frown
get along with a little prayer and a song

lift your head, baby don't be scared
of the things that could go wrong along the way
you'll get by with a smile
now it's time to kiss away those tears goodbye.....

now isn't it an encouraging one....SMILE :) for you don't know who may be blessed with that simple act....

Another Year, Another Life!!!

i made this on Dec. 22 2004, i was sitting in our store thinking what the next year will bring... just want to share what i felt that time....kaya ko 'to nasulat....

2004 is passing and 2005 is coming, we've had a lot of ups and downs, some got over it, some not yet. it had been a dreadful time and almost everyone faced a great circumstance in their life...some lost their loved ones, some lost their wealth, some houses, some happiness and some lost their life...for other people it will be very hard to face the coming year, because they fear that tragedy may once again come their way. but why fret and be sad? didn't God promised that He won't give you trials that you can't overcome and go through. He created friends for you to come to and draw strength from, it's one way of God to let you know that He is there, that He will never forget you nor forsake you. trials are made for you to be a better person than you are right now, for you to learn new things and for you to be stronger. it is created to polish you into a shiny and precious gem. In a few days time we'll face another year and i'm sure that it will give us new trials, but we don't have to worry, God is on our side, He'll be there because He loves us very much. we just need to turn our heads to Him and look into our hearts. as the story of the "Footprints in the Sand" says, He will carry us in times of need. count on Him and in Him always, hold on to God. another year, another life, another chance awaits us...live your life, be happy, make the most out of it and make your life worth it for God's love, remember you'll pass this way only once, there's no second chances. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Friday, February 11, 2005

haaaaaaaaaayyyyy........

i'm here in the office...it's our break....i didn't have much sleep....as i went on my way here i'm thinking why did God let me be friends with people that will just stay for a short time in my life....yung tipong jive agad kayo, masarap silang kasama tapos you know na they already left their footprints in your life, tapos magiging ganun yung situation....they need to go....it'll be hard for me as in very hard but i need to accept it....i think that's reality, i think that's life....mahirap lang kasi i've been attached to these people, and right now i'm thinking that letting them go will not be as easy as 1...2....3....kanina i was talking to God and i'm telling Him how unfair the world is....sa bagay sino nga namang nagsabi na life is fair??? i was shedding my tears while walking on my way to ubp....and talking to my very long trusted friend made me feel that i am not alone and never will be...nagtatampo nga ako sa kanya eh kasi naman why do i have to feel this kind of pain? however, having a thought of what his promises are, like "i will never leave you nor forsake you" and "i will always be here" which are tried and tested promises already, made me feel that i will never be alone for He is there beside me.....it's not easy to lose a friend but i guess that's part of growing up and that's also a part of life, kung pwede lang na lahat ng bagay gawin mo para lang di sila mawala, i think i will do everything but it will be too selfish of me to do that....i want them to be happy kahit na masaktan ako...why? coz i love them....they may not know it but i really do....with every smile and every laugh i share with them it just makes me feel worse sometimes but in that way i know that i'm leaving my own footprints in their lives....i really hope to feel better soon, and i know i will....i will be very happy if they will stay but if they can't it's okei, i know it will be for our own good and maybe for the better or for the best....i believe God is at work, He has His plans for us....may His will be done!!!

Tuesdays With Morrie (by: MITCH ALBOM)

this is another fave book of mine. basahin nyo na lang para maintindihan nyo ung gusto ko sabihin....

do i wither up and disappear or do i make the best of my time left?
accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do (pwede kasing humingi ng tulong)
accept the past as past, without denying it or disregarding it
learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others (para masaya buhay!)
don't assume that it's too late to get involved (there's no such thing!!!)
i guess the key to finding the meaning of life is to stop taking out the garbage
the most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in (don't be bitter!!!)
love is the only rational act (Levine)
YOU CLOSED YOUR EYES THAT WAS THE DIFFERENCE. SOMETIMES YOU CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WHAT YOU FEEL. AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TRUST YOU, YOU MUST FEEL THAT YOU CAN TRUST THEM TOO -- EVEN WHEN YOU'RE IN THE DARK. EVEN WHEN YOU'RE FALLING (trust.....kahit mahirap, sige lang....)
a teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops
once you know how to die, you learn how to live
if you want to experience of having complete responsibility for another human being and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way then you should have children (oo nga eh, gusto ko na nga....kahit walang asawa!)
don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent (don't be too attached, mahirap na...tingnan nyo ko!!!)
as you grow you learn more. aging is not just decay, you know. it's growth. it's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die and that you live a better life because of it.
you know what really gives you satisfaction? offering others what you have to give (and that's love!!!)
devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning (that's how to find a meaningful life!)
status will get you nowhere
each night when i go to sleep, i die. and the next morning when i wake up, i am reborn (Mahatma Gandhi)
A TEACHER TO THE LAST
be compassionate and take responsibility for each other
forgive yourself before you die then forgive others
death is as natural as life. it's part of the deal we made
death ends a life, not a relationship (friends pa rin tayo ha, kahit wala na ko!!!)
there is no such thing as "too late" in life (sa mga wala pang bf dyan...may pag-asa pa kayo!!!)

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept (by: PAULO COELHO)

This book is so good!!! so many insights, many things to learn and nakakainlove!!!! i recommend you guys to read this one.....the following are quotes from the book itself...galing talaga.... :)

rarely do we realize that we are in the midst of the extraordinary
the heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters
there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth
we suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. (mashado kasi tayong selfish!!!)
to love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God (whow!)
we wil only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen
joy is sometimes a blessing but it is often a conquest
at any given moment in our lives, there are certain things that could have happened but didn't. the magic moments go unrecognized and then suddenly the hand of destiny changes everything
life teaches us many things. it taught me that we can learn, and it taught me that we can change even when it seems impossible (nasa sa'yo lang 'yun!)
no one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes. and any woman with the least bit of sensitivity can read the eyes of a man in love (gurls can read man's eyes!)
human wisdom is madness in the eyes of God (tama!!!)
there are moments when you have to take a risk, to do crazy things
love has to be possible. even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire (so.....wag mawalan ng pag-asa!!!)
the wise are wise only because they love. and the foolish are foolish only because they think they can understand love
lovers need to know how to lose themselves and then how to find themselves again
love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current (kaya....don't let a tiny crack form into your relationship!!!)
to love is to lose control
love is a trap. when it appears we see only its light not its shadows
there's nothing deeper than love
there are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end.
the universe always helps us fight for our dreams, no matter how foolish they may be. our dreams are our own, and only we can know the effort required to keep them alive (dream the impossible dream!!!)
it's risky, falling in love
love doesn't need to be discussed, it has its own voice and speaks for itself
love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere
happiness is something that multiplies when it is divided (ano daw???)
the truth resides where there is faith
only a man who is happy can create happiness in others (beeeeee happy!!!)
a divided person cannot face life in a dignified way
waiting is painful. forgetting is painful. but knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering (ouch!!!!)
true love was above all that and that it would be better to die than to fail to love
even if loving meant leaving, or solitude or sorrow, love was worth every penny of its price (ur very much right!!!)
love can only be found through the act of loving
love doesn't ask many questions, because if we stop to think we become fearful. that's why you don't ask - you act (action speaks louder than words!!!)
in order to find God, you have only to look around
love always causes stupidity (tanga talaga!!!)
the closer we get to God through our faith, the simpler He becomes. and the simpler He becomes, the greater is his presence
no single day is the same as any other and that each morning brings its own special miracle (di na pwedeng ulitin!!!)
it's easy to suffer because you love a person. it's easy to suffer for a cause or a mission.
life existed before we were born and will continue to exist after we leave this world (so do what you have to do -- love!!!)
love perseveres. it's men who change (bakit kaya???)
"i am going to sit here with you by the river. if you go home to sleep, i will sleep in front of your house. and if you go away, i will follow you - until you tell me to go away. then i'll leave. but i have to love you for the rest of my life" (haaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!!!)
dream means work....

sunset!!!

by the bay
Originally uploaded by crissel.

Coke Theme!!! (galing kc eh!)

Sana masabi sa awit kong ito,
Lahat ng ninanais nitong puso ko.
Sana saan man patungo sa buhay,
May pag-ibig, may pag-asa, may saya at saysay.

Sana sa bawat sandali'y matikman pa,
Sarap ng pagsasama at simpleng ligaya.
Tara na sakyan lang, malay mo,
ANDYAN LANG, ANDYAN LANG ANG HINAHANAP MO!!!

muddled thoughts!!!!