\ muddled thoughts!!!!: April 2007

Thursday, April 26, 2007

I'VE LEARNED

I've learned that by being born, you are meant to live.
I've learned that by growing, more and more responsibilities will be given.
I've learned that by playing, you tend to lose.
I've learned that by laughing, wrinkles will be lessen.
I've learned that by crying, eyes are being cleansed.
I've learned that by lying, someone is not worth the truth.
I've learned that by loving, you'll get hurt.
I've learned that in pain, hearts are broken,
But the best thing to do is pick up yourself, open your heart and learn to love again.

posted by crissel at 5:49 AM 0 comments

Monday, April 16, 2007

LETTER

- A letter for a person who is very dear to me:



Hello!!!
Maybe you're thinking what this letter is all about, right? Actually wala lang...Just wanted to write at this very moment, 2:55 a.m., April 16, 2007...I wanted to express my feelings and here goes:

1st: I want to say sorry for everything I've caused you, for the jokes that are not funny, for the things that only I can explain, for being pushy sometimes, for not giving you what you want, for making things complicated and most of all I'm very sorry that I fell in love. This is all my fault. Sorry.

2nd: is thank you. Thank you for everything...for making me smile, for making me laugh, for making me cry at times, for making me worry, at least I know I still have concern for people. Thank you for making me think, for the times that I'm with you, for the bonding, for the kisses, hugs and touch. Thank you for making feel loved even for just a while. Thank you for making my heart beat one more time, for the trust you've given me...a secret is a secret, don't worry. Thank you for the heartache, at least I don't feel numb. Thank you for the sweetness, thoughtfulness and honesty. Thank you for the text messages, makes me kilig everytime. Thank you for the pictures, a lot of remembrance, huh? I really want to thank you for every second, minute, and hour you've spent with me...every moment is unforgettable...Thank you very much!

3rd: Goodbye. How I wish the feeling lasted but maybe it's not at all meant to be...I've been hurt, yes, maybe it's because of the feeling I have. Even at first you've warned me not to fall too much, I didn't listen...Oh I'm sorry, that is my heart that doesn't want to...it can't help but fall, I really can't dictate. It's okei, cause you've shown me that this is not working, at least. It will be a lot harder if it's only me that wanted love. Even from the start I've given you your freedom in everything, you're not mine and will never be. Since what I'm seeing is that I'm the only one showing concern and love, I've decided to stop. I don't want to be stupid again, giving too much love and not getting any in return. I'm letting go, I'm just too tired asking why? And it looks like you have a new special someone, goodluck to the both of you, I wish you happiness. However, I wanted you to know that I've tried my best...my best not to fall for you, but I did. My best to give you everything, but I can't. My best to make you content with me, but you're not. My best for you to love me, but you don't.

Right now, at this very moment, the feeling is very similar. I've felt this before...betrayed, unloved, lied to, rejected and stupid but I'm not pointing my finger to anyone except for myself...I wanted this.

It's been a great 3-months with you. Don't forget this, you'll always be special and you'll always have a special place in my heart, babe. But for now, I'm letting go...Hope you'll be happy.



- From someone who loves you but didn't have the chance to show it.

posted by crissel at 10:39 PM 1 comments

Thursday, April 12, 2007

MAKE BELIEVE

  • I made a fool out of myself. Believing the unbelievable, care for the uncaring, love the unloving and full of self-worth, show loyalty to those I believed stood by my side…but where are they??? They’re all gone…I feel used and feels very bad…while ME the stupid one gave them permission and allowed them to hurt me like this.

  • I don’t believe in pretensions/inhibitions, what you see in me is the real me, nothing more, nothing less…if I show love or care or concern maybe, that is what I feel. I don’t make false pretenses just for others to see a better me…I’m an affectionate and passionate bitch…if others see this as a bad thing…well, I don’t care. I want to show love, share it to those people in need of it and of course to those who want it as well…but if you selfish a**hole doesn’t need it or want it, tell it straight to my face…don’t use me for your own sake…I’d rather give it to those who wants to accept me as I am…

  • Now I know, love is really not fair, it could bring the worst in one person and maybe the worst in me…I thought it was fair, I believed that in loving you’ll be happy, but hey, I was wrong…and one more thing not only it’s unfair but it’s confusing as well! One minute you’re pushing me away the other you’re coming to me…I really don’t know now what to believe…you told me I’m special…YOU LIAR!!!

  • The good side of this is I’ve learned something…NEVER EVER BELIEVE THAT EASY…they are very good in making you believe in something, persuasion is their game…IT’S THEIR TALENT!

posted by crissel at 9:50 PM 0 comments